Aside from being a little under the weather this weekend, due to my internet provider being so fantastically naff I actually had to type this post up twice. Pfeh. :-x But you don’t want to know about any of that – let’s get on with the lushness of today’s four Assemblees, three of which you can play straight from your browser!

Mushroomer - ain't mush room in 'ere, har harMushroom Stew - slip-sliding away on the iceOh Crackers - Not Again! - fly, Lassie, fly...One pack - put that flab to some use

Mushroomer by Jotapeh TIGForum thread Play Mushroomer
Seeing the phrase “Just like a real video game!” immediately made me smile, but sadly the rest of the game couldn’t quite pull off enough to keep that smile on my face. A run and jump platformer made vaguely interesting with slidey controls and ninja rope goodness. Escape the cave before you lose all your lives or a ten minute timer expires. Competently done (nice backdrop!) and points for the rope, but a tad plain. 63%

Mushroom Stew by iarwain TIGForum thread Download Mushroom Stew for Windows Download Mushroom Stew for Intel Mac Download Mushroom Stew for Linux
Wahey, more mushrooms! You can never have enough mushrooms, folks. In this case you have to blast through a story of confusion and deception to find out why your mushroom buddies are suddenly trying to kill you. Use your crouching and time-bending skills to reach the end. Technically very good with several tricks used to enliven the graphics – sharp gameplay too, if a tad repetitive. Even has a level editor! 77%

Oh Crackers, Not Again! by The Greenest Banana TIGForum thread Play Oh Crackers, Not Again!
In a spicy, tangy twist to normality, here you have to protect a helpless little girl as she tries to get back home following a path which is infested with monsters. You take the part of her faithful and happily indestructible hound who can jump on enemies’ heads to stop them from being such a nuisance. A charming Flash effort but quite challenging even on the easiest difficulty. Needs more levels but still a great effort. 78%

One Pack by MrRoboman TIGForum thread Play One Pack
Being a toned ace space pilot is all very well but it’s oh-so-easy to pile on the pounds in your retirement. Such is the problem Ace Fatman now faces in his quest for… okay, I have no idea what his quest is, since this game is one for the “unfinished” pile. But it’s enough to raise a guffaw at the creative use of assets. Multi-purpose flab, anyone? Throw a can or three of polish at this and it could have an entertaining future! 52%

You might want to go grab yourself a cup of tea to sip on while you read today’s epic collection – I surely consumed a few myself while putting this random tangle of words together… :roll:

Today we have:

  • Have Adventures
  • Higher Still
  • Hubris Quest Online
  • Labyrinth
  • Led’s Get Shooting
  • Mechwar (Battle for Narita)
  • Mr. Kitty’s Quest
  • Mulder’s Totally Bogus (Rabbit) Journey

Off we go, then!

Read more…

Right, I’m going to have to pick up the pace a little since we’re running behind schedule. Badly, in fact. Today makes it 19 games down, so only another 54 to go – over seven days, that means eight a day. 8-O Haha! It’s all going pear-shaped, I tell ya! But enough of that. Onwards and sidewards into section D we go, and it’s quite a selection that awaits us…

Darker Than Your Soul - and in my case, that's pretty darkDEBT - Bowser called, he wants his spinning fireballs backDog and Bone are Friends - but does Dog have an ulterior motive?Dot Dot Dot - I don't know, you tell me...

Darker Than Your Soul by KissMaj7 TIGForum thread Download Darker Than Your Soul for Windows
Explaining the story too much would be a spoiler since this game is so short, but suffice to say that you play the part of a mighty warrior who is sent upon a quest. Try it and be surprised! DTYS is a lo-fi throwback to the classic RPGs of old like Dungeon Master with a first-person view of the dungeon and real-time combat. Points lost for being far too short (I wanted more!) and poor monster AI (they won’t chase you around corners). 72%

DEBT by floatstarpx TIGForum thread Download DEBT for Windows
Intergalactic traveller Owen has fallen upon hard times. Help him to eradicate his debt by platforming your way through 3 distinct planets to collect all of the valuable goodies within. I like the mix of 2D and 3D effects, and the game itself is quite addictive as you hurry around grabbing loot. Forces you to think tactically on a short game – figuring out which planet you can scavenge the most from is key if you’re going for the world’s best online highscore. 75%

Dog and Bone are Friends by Jake Elliott TIGForum thread Play Dog and Bone are Friends
A very pleasant Flash puzzle game. Help Dog and Bone get around various obstacles so that they can meet up and play together. As you might expect, both characters have unique abilities: Bone – who doesn’t like birds – can climb ladders and use magic statues to rearrange the landscape, while Dog can jump around and bark to scare birds away if he’s close enough. Level design may seem too easy, but you’ll be playing through them again with added challenges later! 79%

Dot Dot Dot by Noyb TIGForum thread Download Dot Dot Dot for Windows
Ah, now here we have something quite shallow, and yet at the same time, very deep! Tell me, are you a philosophical gamer? Do you like analysing true meaning and the exact nature of whatever the deuce you’re doing? Find out! Take part in a short series of minigames and decide for yourself whether there is some greater purpose. The style is actually quite good, and while I would normally dismiss a “game” like this, I found myself smiling at the end. Bonus points for cat usage! 68%

Oh boy! As we keep cracking along down the alphabet we find some real humdingers filed under “B”.

One thing I forgot to mention in the first TAR post is that the download links will point you to the final competition version of the games – bear in mind there may also be further updated downloads! For the most recent links be sure to check the TIGForum threads.

Anyhow, this installment should be a good one, so let’s not hang around any longer. Here they come…

Bang Bang Roguelution - not psychedelic at all, honestBirdyWorld - a Zelda Construction Kit with no triforce in sightBitworld - two and half smooth dimensions of retro RoguelikenessBoulder Dodge - hmm, what did I have to do here again?

Bang Bang Roguelution by Sos TIGForum thread Download Bang Bang Roguelution for Windows
Holy macaroni, it’s a thinly veiled clone of Dance Dance Revolution complete with hordes of retro sprites! Get ready to mash your keyboard like there’s no tomorrow and maybe, just maybe, you can bag yourself a highscore. Includes 23 blippy tunes to savour the madness with. Steer clear of this one if you are prone to seizures, but otherwise get in there and have a laugh! 71%

BirdyWorld by Logan Ames TIGForum thread Download BirdyWorld for Windows
Billed as a “collaborative Zelda“, this has to be one of the competition’s star entries. Explore a world that has been created by other players (that includes the monsters and dungeons, too) and expand the world yourself as you go! A cool concept indeed. It’s let down by the lack of any sound or music, but the gameplay is horribly addictive despite the lack of clear objectives… 83%

Bitworld by Ivan Safrin TIGForum thread Download Bitworld for Windows Download Bitworld for Intel Mac
Imaginative use of 2.5D makes this another strong challenger for an Assemblee victory. It’s a Roguelike dungeon romp where you take either a knight, wizzard (sic) or archer into ye olde dwarven fortress in order to defeat the stompy red demon of doom which has invaded the place. Very, very smoothly done. Switching between axiseses is fun! 86%

Bleerg
I couldn’t get this to work, so I’ll return to it later in TAR when I’ve had chance to find out why it hates me :(

Boulder Dodge by EzekielKnight TIGForum thread Download Boulder Dodge for Windows
A single-screen time attack where you must keep the counter running for as long as possible while picking up gems and multipliers to increase your score. And, weirdly enough, there are these boulder thingies which you have to… erm… give me a minute… dodge, that was it, dodge! Or they’ll bash you on the head and make you lose, and stuff. Nothing special – good, simple fun for a few minutes. 59%

With the TIGSource Assemblee entrants out in the open, I thought I’d blurt out a few words – or in some cases perhaps more than just a few – on each of the contenders, no matter how NSFW they may be. This could be an epic undertaking. 73 mini-reviews in under two weeks? Oh, crud. Bloody impossible, that’s what this is…

Quick note: click on the or icons for an appropriate download link, or  to visit the relevant thread on the TIGForums. Anything not safe for work is marked with a .

6nine by JMickle TIGForum thread Download 6nine for Windows Warning! Not safe for work!
Oh, good. A game packed with male reproductive organs. How original! This game isn’t just made of cocks – it is cock. Almost non-existant gameplay. In truth, a waste of perfectly good bandwidth. 15%

30 Bomb of Awesome Frags by C. A. Sinclair TIGForum thread Download 30 Bomb of Awesome Frags for Windows
“I seize my material!” Quite fun. Bonus points for nonsensical storyline. Short but tough gameplay in a style you could liken to Meritous homepage Meritous – navigate through a dungeon and kill enemies by charging your attacks to release bombs. 74%

87 Spiderbats go to the Inn by Sos TIGForum thread Download 87 Spiderbats go to the Inn for Windows
Points awarded for technical skill – this is a proper Atari 2600 game! Nice, but unfortunately the game itself is rather basic. Stop the dreaded spiderbats from invading your inn by killing 87 of them before you lose all your lives or too many get past you. 58%

Backworld by Juha Kangas & Anders Ekermo TIGForum thread Download Backworld for Windows Download Backworld for Intel Mac
An impressive game with an interesting gameplay mechanic. Guide the rabbit to the end of each screen in a grayscale world. To do so you will need to paint holes into the “backworld” to erase obstacles, reveal platforms or even reverse gravity. Good stuff. 84%

Expect more TAR over the weekend!

Yeah. I thought it was about time I got rid of the holiday theme and eye-wateringly awful link colours. I’m not quite sure why I thought red was a good idea… serves me right for recycling last year’s colours I suppose. :roll:

Despite this, I believe I still have some way to go in order to get myself on webpagesthatsuck.com’s Ugliest / Worst Websites of 2009 list. At least I hope I do…

Anyhow, super special awesome original theme, GO! Come the change in host, I’ll be changing the theme too. Twitter has told me this must be so. Fun times ahead, eh?

It’s so ridiculous that I actually laughed out loud upon discovering it.

Tetoris - the smallest Tetris you'll ever playMeet Tetoris [link], the smallest yet at the same time biggest variation of Tetris I’ve ever seen. Good luck on actually building a complete tetris line… 8-O

Thanks to Offworld for the heads-up.

This is seriously dedicated stuff. I don’t know exactly who made this, but someone has created a brilliant copy of Aperture Science’s portal gun:

Portal gun photo 1Portal gun photo 2

I love it! It’s even got authentic-looking wear and tear. Very professional indeed, and best of all it’s completely safe. Oh, and your cake is just through that doorway over there…

There’s some more pictures over on the original Shacknews post.