Twitter followers might see that I’ve been playing the classic NES platformer Super Mario Brothers lately. Since I call myself a retro gamer, it’s on my list of “games to play and finish” – along with a whole slew of other oldschool console games (which I might get around to posting some time). In doing so, I can’t shake the feeling that I may have made a terrible error in judgement…

“This should be easy enough,” I thought. “It’s only a simple platform game. C’mon, how hard can it be?”

Super Mario Brothers!So… yeah. It seems like modern commercial games have made me soft. SMB is, without any flicker of hesitation, the hardest game I have played in years. It takes your soul and slowly squeezes the will to live out of it. When it’s done doing that, it proceeds to grind the remainder into tiny fragments. And whatever is left gets fed to a Goomba.

And yet, after scouring every level for secret coins, 1UPs and warp areas, I’m pretty close. At least I hope I’m close. I can get to 8-3 with about five lives (or sometimes more on a good run), but then the real soul-crunching insanity kicks in. Turtles were never meant to wield hammers! For the love of all that’s good… it’s not right! :-x

If I finally figure out the pattern and manage to beat 8-4 – which so far I’ve only reached once with but a single life – and then discover there’s some insanity like a grand finale boss fight, well, let’s just say that innocent inanimate objects, other people and even cute fluffy kittens would not be safe from my nerdwrath.

This game will not beat me… it won’t… mustn’t give up… grumble, mutter, curse :evil:

2 comments on 'Castles in the sky'

  1. Posted by Nemo - August 17th, 2009 5:42 pm

    I’ve been replaying the Super Marios with my girlfriend, and she says about ten times an hour, “I don’t understand, I used to be SO GOOD at this.” I find myself thinking the same thing, but maybe I remember the few times of beating it much better than the hundreds of times of failing miserably.

    Or maybe I just lack the dedicated talent of my nine-year-old self.

  2. Posted by Shitterwing - August 31st, 2009 4:04 pm

    Maybe, ya’ll make Super Goblin Bros – SMB mod in Blitz with 5 centipedes replacing the first boss fight? dC=D

Penny for your thoughts...